Saturday, September 20, 2008

Ek baar to aao...

My 2nd poem...dont remember when I wrote this...!!

दो क़दम साथ चले,
और फ़िर छूट गए...!!

साथ शुरू किया था ये सफर,
एक था रास्ता,
पर मंजिलें थीं जुदा...!!

कई लहरें थीं मन में,
अरमां भी कई थे आँखों में,
यही आरजू थी,
की ये सफर रहे बरक़रार,
और अगर ख़त्म हो,
तो एक ही मंजिल पर...!!
क्यूंकि, सफर नही रहते,
हमेशा बरक़रार...!!

मंजिलों और रास्तों के जंजाल में,
अभी उलझा ही था मैं,
की सामने वाली पहाडी पर,
ठहरी हुई धुंध में,
तुम ओझल हो गए...!!

चाहा की चीख कर,
पुकारूं तुम्हे,
पर नहीं निकली आवाज़...
शायद टूट गया था मैं...!!

बिखरा हुआ उसी रास्ते पर,
पड़ा हूँ मैं,
इसी उम्मीद में,
की कब उस धुंध से,
एक परी की तरह निकल के,
तुम आओ...
मुझे बटोर के अपनी बाहों में,
उस मंजिल की ओर रुख करो,
जहाँ अपना हो इक आशियाँ...

मैं अकेला हूँ...
चाह कर भी उठ नही सकता,
एक सहारा दे कर मुझे उठाओ,
हर कतरे को जोडो,
और चाहो तो फ़िर से तोड़ जाओ,
पर एक बार तो आओ...!!

Talaash...buss yun hi

This was my first poem, wrote this when I was in college 2nd year...!!

गर्मी की एक रात में,
मैं खड़ा था
एक कच्चे घर की
कच्ची छत के ऊपर
चारों तरफ़ था अँधेरा, सिर्फ़ अँधेरा,
और उसे दूर करने की चाह लिए,
वो तारे...!!

ठंडी हवा चल रही थी,
उड़ रहा था मेरा मन,
यहाँ वहां, जाने कहाँ कहाँ,
पूरब से पच्छिम,
शायद पुरवैया,
यही कहते हैं न उसे...??

मैं बस खड़ा था,
उस घने अंधेरे में,
मेरी आँखें बेचैन थीं,
कुछ खोज रहीं थीं,
शायद कुछ देखने की चाह थी,
पर क्या,
और क्यूँ,
नहीं जानता...!!

आंखें कभी ऊंचाइयों में,
कभी गहराइयों में,
कभी क्षितिज की ओर जाती,
जहाँ तक जा सकती थीं...!!

मन अभी भी उड़ रहा था,
शायद आँखों के साथ,
उसे भी तलाश थी एक चेहरे की,
पर किसका चेहरा...??
मुझे नही पता,
हाँ...शायद पता है...!!
पर ये नहीं पता,
की आंखें जो चेहरा देखना चाहती हैं,
अगर कहीं इसी अंधेरे में,
देख भी लिया,
तो क्या करूँगा मैं?
हसूंगा, या रो पडूंगा...??

फिर कुछ देर बाद,
आंखें घूम-फ़िर कर,
लौट आयीं,
और लौट आया मेरा मन!
क्यूंकि हवा अब थम सी गई थी...!!
साथ ही लौट आया मैं,
अपने ही अन्दर...!!

फिर सोचा,
ये आंखें पगला गई हैं,
ख़ुद को तो ठीक से देख नही पाती,
और तलाश है एक चेहरे की...?
वो भी इस अंधेरे में...?
इस घनघोर अंधेरे में,
जहाँ सुना है,
परछाई भी साथ छोड़ देती है...!!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Poorn Viraam.

Another poem as a result of the impact of 'Mother of 1084'.

ये शोर कैसा है?
अंधेरे उस कोने से आता,
कोई और क्यूँ नही सुन पता...??

जब लगा सन्नाटा बढ़ सा गया,
जब लगा वीरानी छाने लगे,
तब लगा की ये कुछ और नही,
मेरे ही मन के राग जगे...!!

जब राहें सिमटती लगने लगीं,
मंजिल मेरी और ही बढ़ने लगी,
यूँ लगा की ख़त्म हुआ ये सफर,
आंखों की आग भी बुझने लगी...!!

उजियारे से अंधियारे तक,
आबादी से वीराने तक,
बदलाव जो ऐसा होने लगा,
तब जाना मैं था बस...अब तक...!!

मन की सब परतें खुलने लगीं,
चुकते से लगे थे सारे हिसाब,
जो सवाल रहे थे सारी उमर,
अब मिलने लगे थे उनके जवाब...!!

अँधेरा प्यारा लगने लगा,
सन्नाटा मन को बहाने लगा,
उस पल तो ये भी लगने लगा,
सोया था अब तक, अभी जगा...!!

मन में अब कुछ भी शेष नहीं,
कोई क्लेश नही, न ही कोई थकन,
इक पावन सा एहसास हुआ,
जैसे सूरज की पहली किरण...!!

क्यूँ मौत से डरते हैं आख़िर,
क्यूँ बात समझ में आती नहीं,
मिट जायेगा ये सब कुछ इक दिन,
है मौत का तो सत्य यही...!!

Main Tayyar Hoon...

This poem was the outcome of what I felt for Brati after reading the book 'Mother of 1084'.

सब कुछ लुटाने, ख़ुद भी अब मिट जाने को तैयार हूँ...

ज़िन्दगी ने क्या दिया, क्या खोया-पाया, क्या पता,
मौत के आगोश में खो जाने को तैयार हूँ...

दुनिया के बाज़ार, रिश्तों की बढती भीड़ से दूर,
इक नई दुनिया में जा, बस जाने को तैयार हूँ...

ज़िन्दगी है इक छलावा, किस पे अब कीजे यकीन,
दूर सबसे जाने, फ़िर न आने को तैयार हूँ...

कौन मैं, क्या हस्ती मेरी, क्या पता, क्या है सबब,
मौत ही इसका सबब बन जाए, मैं तैयार हूँ...

ज़िन्दगी अश्कों में भीगी इक इबारत सी रही,
मुस्कुरा के अलविदा कह जाने को तैयार हूँ...

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Books are forever...

I am not an avid reader, I never was. But I am certainly a ‘bibliophile’. I like collecting books, I like buying them, no matter I plan to actually read them or not. It started when I was too young to start reading Munshi Premchand novels. There was a library in a small, low ceiling room in my Grandma’s house, it was my uncle’s library. What a huge collection that was, with a variety of books from hardcore physical and mathematical sciences to Astronomy and Astrology, from English and Hindi novels (dating back to late 60’s) to non-fiction books. My grandma was quite old and could not manage to clean the room regularly, and I think that’s the reason behind the dusty smell in that room that I really liked. I always enjoyed spending hours in the cosiness of the library, cleaning the books and shelves. I used to end up taking a couple of books along with me while coming back to my house.

Now the library is not there. Lack of proper care gave enough chance to termites to dwell in there. Ultimately, we piled up all the damaged books and set them to fire. However, a few books survived the colonization by the termites and I brought them to my house. Now, I have a room dedicated for my library with a wooden book shelf (in fact a closet with glass doors) and a table. The book shelf houses all the books I got from my uncle’s library, a few good books from my academics and some books I have bought over the past few years, fifty percent of which I still have to read. I am still purchasing them just to make a good collection for the times I am free, retired.

I am mentioning a few books I have read since I remember. A few of them I left reading in between, I don’t know why. Also, I am planning to keep it updated, as and when required.

List of books I’ve read/I’m reading/I plan to read/I left in between:

Shall we tell the president by Jeffery Archer - This was the first English novel I remember reading. I was in Bangalore during my good Infosys days and my PG roomie Ram told me that I should start with this very book to get an initial thing. It was nice, I liked it then, but now I refrain from reading fiction stuff as far as possible. It took me about 1-2 weeks to finish that book, I used to come back from office, have dinner and read it till I feel drowsy enough to get a sound sleep.

Five Point Someone by Chetan Bhagat - Same thing. I liked it then, but now I feel it was a high drama and far from real, at least for an individual like me. There was no enrichment after reading this book, just sheer entertainment.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho - I fell in love with this book. I found myself actually smiling out of amusement when I finished reading it. It really shpaed my personality, my philosophy of leading a happy life, at least to some extent. I have started following my instinct and doing whatever I 'feel' like doing, not what I 'think' I should do. I went to Singapore for a PhD because I wanted to go, I did not choose to give it a profound thought before going. I wanted to experience it, so I was driven by my instinct. Then, I decided to come back. That was anything but a rational thinking of mine. I wanted to be, and stay, happy and that drove me back home. So, it works...thats all I'd say :)

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown – Really exciting and awe-inspiring. I need not say anything about this magnum opus by Dan Brown, everybody knows about it. It created a sort of a havoc among orthodox christian community because of the ‘allegations’ made on religion, but some people say it was the allegations made on Jesus. I could not find anything in the book that says, or implies, that Jesus was not a great man. The points made by Dan Brown do not seem to be baseless, except that Papyrus in Vinegar stuff. Some group tried it and proved that payrus doesn’t dissolve in vinegar, at least not that quickly.

Digital Fortress by Dan Brown – I don’t want to comment on this sh*t. Typical masala bollywood movie I’d say.

Train to Pakistan by Khushwant Singh – I bought this book from Landmark in Bangalore. Like every book by Khushwant Singh, this book is also containing some errotic content, but the reader doesn’t get diverted from the main plot of India after Partition (some people say Independence). He talks endlessly about Monsoons in India somewhere in the middle of the book, which is a bit boring for me.

Are You Afraid Of Dark by Sidney Sheldon – I don’t remember the story exactly, it was about two women, their husbands, a secret project on Global Warming etc etc...

Deception Point by Dan Brown – I left reading it in between, fed up and couldn’t manage...

The Hostage by David Jacobson – David Jacobson was the Dean of some American Hospital in Beirut. He gets kidnapped and held hostage by some Islamic Jehadis. This book is his personal account of the months he spent with his captives, the tortures he survived, the executions he witnessed, the progress of the negotiative talks between American Government and his captives. The pleasure of reading such stuff is totally different from the entertainment one gets from fiction novels.

Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler – Aah, I so want to read this book, I will finish it one day, I believe. I had to keep a dictionary with me for every 10th word while reading it (I had not prepared for GRE by then). He talks about the bourgeois class in the initial chapters. I mistook the word ‘Bourgeois’ for employer class, and when I learned that it means the employed class, I had to re-read those chapters to understand Hitler’s thoughts about the society. I started to read the book three times, could not continue for one reason or another. I guess I’d read this when I am retired and all free.

The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank – It gave me goosebumps thinking about the life in the ‘Secret Annexe’ and the ‘Gas Chambers’. I’ll probably write more about it later.

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini – What can I say about it...this is my most favorite book so far. Generally I do not read, or rather enjoy, fiction novels, but this is one book I recommend to everybody who loves creative writing and a good story-telling. The character of Hassan really moved me, specially the letter he writes to Amir just a few days before he gets killed by the Talibans. I have written a lot about this book in my personal diary as well. I asked my friend to download this movie for me, I got the movie and it became one of my favorites. Again, the kid who portrayed Hassan was so well fitted in the role and acted really well. Anyone who wants a break from routine hollywood movies, full of either action, thriller or romance, should get this movie and watch it, of course after reading the book.

The Last Mughal by William Dalrymple – The Last Mughal, Bahadur Shah Zafar, was the King of Delhi for name sake. His reign was limited to the Red Fort, may be not even there. He was on a pension from British Raj. But when the famous Sepoy Mutiny broke out, troops from all over the northern region of India marched towards Delhi to get the blessings (though forcefully, but still blessings).

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill - Pending.

At the Crossroads of Infinities by E. I. Parnov – Pending. About the Quest for Unified Theory of Everything.

The Neutron Story by Donald J. Hughes – Pending. A chronicle of the discovery of Neutron.

The Fabric of The Cosmos by Braine Greene – Braine Greene is one of those Scientists, actually Physicists, who are working towards a common quest for Unified Theory of Everything. Best thing about this book is that the author explains most complex theories of General Relativity and Special Relativity in a most simple manner. Nowhere in his book does he use a mathematical expression to explain something. I still have to finish the book, so I’ll write more once I finish it.

Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri – A short stories’ collection, almost all on same plot – a Bengalis family settled in US, problems in raising children in US etc. Almost like The Namesake.

Without Fear: Life and Trial of Bhagat Singh by Kuldip Nayar – This book is not about the later days of Bhagat Singh, its about his idea of a revolution, his idea of independece, his idea of a Nation. Also, this book throws light on the ‘approvers’ – Hans Raj Vohra and Jai Gopal – who became informers and revealed every important information about HSRA, that led to its dissolution. What made him take part in the movement, what impressed him, what annoyed him, everything is perfectly covered in this book.

The Argumentative Indian by Amartya Sen - I am currently reading this book, and already liking it. Unexpectedly, I have not used any dictionary till now, even after reading some 25 pages. Really simple language and great ideas.

Blink – Pending.

Scoop! by Kuldip Nayar – Pending.

India, A History by John Keay – Pending.

India Unbound by Gurcharan Das – Pending.

Jesus Lived in India – Pending.

The Elegant Universe by Braine Greene – Pending.

13th Dec: Penguin Reader – Left in between. Its a collection of essays written on 13th Dec terrorist attack on Indian Parliament by various famous writers like Arundhati Roy.

1857: Penguin Reader by Pramod K. Nayar – Left in between. Its a collection of essays, letters, chronicles, personal accounts and other such artifacts of the times of Sepoy Mutiny.

Trial of Bahadur Shah Zafar by Pramod K. Nayar – Pending. Its a day by day account of the proceedings of the case. The case was actually against Zafar who was accused of blessing sepoy troops who were out to uproot the British Empire from India, though he was forced to do that. But unfortunately, the revolt fails and Delhi gets recaptured by British. Bahadur Shah was found guilty of endorsing the revolt and then...he gets exile to Rangoon...till he dies...unknown...the King of India...!!

Istanbul by Orhan Pamuk - Orhan Pamuk is a Turkey based writer, a Nobel Laureate. Currently reading this and I'm already in love with the book and the city

Hindi books I’ve read/plan to read:

Munshi Premchand short stories and novels

Chaakar Gaatha – Bimal Mitr: A story that reflects on the caste system in India, especially in West Bengal. ‘Chakar’ means slave and ‘Gatha’ means tale/story.

Kapaal Kundala – Bankim Chandra: A mystic type story of a woman named Kapal Kundala and an occultist. A sad ending where she dies in Ganges river.

Kishnuli ka Dhaant – Shivani

Jebkatre – Amrita Pritam: One of my favorite hindi novels. Life of 3-4 friends in college who struggle to achieve their goals and meet their fates.

Andhere Band Kamre

Sara Akash

Gunaho ka Devta – Dharamveer Bharti

Tamas – Bhishm Sahni

Devdas – Sarat Chandra (along with a few short stories)

Rati Vilaap – Shivani

Jaalak – Shivani

Shyam, Phir Ek baar Tum Mil Jaate – Dinkar Joshi

Dwarka ka Suryast – Dinkar Joshi

1084 ki Maa – Mahashweta Debi: This is what a mother felt when she learns about the ‘justified’ murder of her son Brati who was a naxalite during the times of Muktibahini in Bengal. She compares Brati as an individual with other people of ‘elite’ class and herself breaks out in the end. I so want to write a lot about this book, which I have read about 5-6 times, but I’ll let my poems say the rest.

Kitne Pakistan - It's a novel, without anything like a usual novel element in it, written by Kamleshwar. It spans 'ages' of the human history and questions people, livin or dead, for what they did that shaped the history of human race. Starting from the times after 'The Great Flood' and the life of Manu (or his contemporary Noah), it correlates different civilizations like the Harappans, Aryans, Babylonians, Greeks, Mesopotamians and Akkadians....travels in time through era of Ramayana, Mahabharata, Jesus and Mughals' invasion in India, British Raj etc etc. I literally had to refer Wikipedia every now and then to learn more about people and places refered in the book. This is one book that depicts the execution of Prince Dara Shikoh in a very touching and dramatic way. Its a must read for everyone.